A “Principle Checkup” with Amy

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Professor Taboo over at The Professor’s Convatorium had a post called “Human Relations“, and inside of this post, Prof. asks nine questions. As I am reading the answers to the questions, I sat there thinking that I needed to answer them too, so…here I am. I am going to answer them with opinion and how they reflect my views on the subject matter, as is my right, but let it be known that I love a good debate and hate trolls. (I know…hate is a strong word…but trolls infuriate me.)

What is the number one need in every human’s life, or the mental-emotional-physical needs?
This is four questions in one really because we need one thing in each of those areas. Our main need in life is air to breath. Our mental need is stability. Our emotional need is love. Our physical need is sex.
Is our need for three-component love clearly, proactively, and accurately expressed to others? Do others correctly interpret that/those expression(s)? Why or why not?
I have not ever researched “three-component love”, but this is possibly because love is not what I expected to be. I think I have given up on romantic love, since the world has changed too much to find true love. I have love for my family and friend, and how that comes out in a given day is depending on who it is and what mood I’m in. It’s not my place to say if someone correctly or incorrectly interpret my love. I’m a take it or leave it kind of girl these days.
How many forms of love truly exist?
Sadly, I have no idea. I have one kind. If I love you, it’s forever.
What type of relations with other humans do we have in our lives? What types have we had in our past? Which ones worked best and which ones collapsed? Why and why not?
As much as I would like to answer this question, I have no idea who or what would go where. I can just say that in my life that I am still waiting for #5. Most of my relationships have been abusive or controlling, so I wouldn’t know what a balanced relationship looked or felt like.
Were some of your past relationships or current ones similar/identical or a sub-form of a Black Hole in outer space?
Umm. They were all black holes that sucked the life out of me. Every single one of them. Identical, life-sucking, black holes that went nowhere.
Were the expectations for the best or failed relationships reasonable or unreasonable expectations? Why and why not?
I always have unreasonable expectations in the people I have been in a relationship with. I am submissive by nature, and I put all my trust in too quickly. I always expect that if I am honest and loyal that they will be too. I have always been wrong. I have been cheated on in every relationship I have ever been in since my first kiss.
Where do our blueprints-of-relations originate? Do they flex and/or adapt over time to everchanging conditions, both environmentally and amongst our human daily/weekly engagements? Why or why not?
If by blueprints-of-relations you mean a sketch leading you around a healthy relationship, mine were drawn on the sidewalk in chalk on a rainy day. The only healthy relationship was the one that my grandmother and grandfather shared. My mother was a mess in relationships, and Dad was Dad (don’t want to elaborate). I have never had good models, and the love stories on television and in books give false hope that love exists.
Are certain man-made social-systems, ideologies, belief/faith systems flexible, adaptable, and sustainable from subatomic micro-levels to organic-human levels up to macro-levels of our Universe and the Cosmos? Why or why not?
My brain cannot process this multi-faceted question, but I am sure that I have no idea. Scientific things and love are just not my niche. The only thing I will say on the grounds of ideologies and faith/belief systems is that we gather the most human interaction in these kind of situations along with our parents and caregivers. When it comes to the Cosmos, only God knows.
Given the above (honest!) answers, am I at a healthy juncture? Am I thriving, becoming a more whole human-being? Or am I in need of (serious?) change, redirection, and/or bigger better refinements?
I think you are in a better healthy juncture than I am when it comes to human relations, Professor Taboo. There were many of these questions I had to put my stink on because that’s what relationships have been for me. You are doing great, and we can always refine things we want to do better.

In community,

Amy

Published by Amy H

I am a writer, mother, activist, and passionate volunteer. I give voices to those that do not have one. I fight for change. I fight against white fragility. I fight for those that have lost their lives to our criminal legal system.

15 thoughts on “A “Principle Checkup” with Amy

  1. Amy, good questions. Let me pick one. “Were the expectations for the best or failed relationships reasonable or unreasonable expectations? Why and why not?”

    In simple terms, we are all fixer uppers. No exceptions. If we enter a relationship thinking we can change the other person to our liking, then we may want to move on. With that said, we do make each other better versions of ourselves.

    Cat Stevens sang about “I’m looking for a hard headed woman.” When you dig into the lyrics he is looking for a woman who is comfortable being herself and who will help bring out the best version of himself. I have always loved these two themes. This first theme also can be found in the last verse of Kenny Loggins’ “Danny’s Song.”

    “Love a girl who holds the world in a paper cup. Drink it up. Love her and she’ll bring you luck. And, if she helps your mind, you better take her home. Don’t you live alone. Try to earn what lovers own.”

    Keith

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I love the quote from Cat, as I am often referred to as one of those hard-headed women 😀 I have always been one of those people that want to bring out the best in someone else and then in turn they return the favor. It just hasn’t happened. I wonder if I am honestly ever going to find it. I have become very peaceful in my single state of mind lol. Beautiful quote too! Great answer to the questions, Keith!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Amy, great to hear that. My wife has taught me a great deal and I am better for it. That person is out there for you. And, once you find them, do what that last verse of “Danny’s Song” says. Maybe you should open up on one of those dating apps. “I am a hard headed woman looking for…..” It would be interesting to see the replies. Keith

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hah! That would be a nice experiment. I could put that opener and all my baggage on there and see if anyone bites 🤣 I’m so glad that you have someone that makes you feel better and be better. It’s always nice to have that person that will support you and be there for you. One day for me, maybe 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Amy, I think you are onto something. Too many on those dating sites over-exaggerate and even contrive positives, using more youthful or edited pictures (of course, I am being a hypocrite as my WordPress picture is ten years old). For me, it would say, the little hair I have is white more than black, eg. Keith

        Liked by 1 person

      4. For the most part, I do a little editing on my pictures, but I can also take pictures without the filters. I always have to take 10 pictures before I like what I see haha! Sometimes I get happy on the first snap, but usually I am very critical of myself.

        The dating apps are so badly over-exaggerated and fake. Pretty much everyone is looking for a one-nighter or looking to fulfill a kink lol.

        Sorry for the late reply! School has had me busy.
        Amy

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  2. Amy, thank you so much for stopping by my blog and these questions I posed. Much gratitude Ma’am. ❣️😊

    As you might have deduced, I am a pretty “deep thinking, deep feeling” person. Questions like these nine have been my own litmus test, if you will, to check, recheck, cause honest introspection, and then modifications, refinements, and/or overhauls. HAH! 😄 Nonetheless, thought I’d just share them with others, get feedback, see what others thought and felt.

    Thanks again for reposting my questions and participating!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It was my pleasure to join in, Prof. Taboo! I like how deep you did dive into most of them. I wish I could have better experiences to share with relationships. I definitely need more work! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I imagine all of us “need more work.” Works in Progress, eh? 😉 I know I do. My later adopted motto for progressing? …

        Learn to Fail Better! 🤭 A little illustration of where I’m usually at in my progress:

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Amy, It’s a tragedy you haven’t found the right person in your relationships.Reltionshipsare so much better when shared properly.I was lucky enough to find someone to share with most of the time. It was tragic that she was taken away so soon. 9 years later and I’m struggling on dating sitesnot least because I’m on a site for Widows and Widowers and get so many who are not really in that position and are far too young to be so. They want to bombard you with images like call girls.
    I hope you get lucky and find someone to share with..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi David! Thanks for the comment and care. I’m sorry you have had those experiences on your dating site. Sadly, I had the same problem and deleted them all off my phone. If it isn’t call girls/guys, it’s inmates trying to find someone to be their sugar daddy or sugar mama. It’s bad lol. One day, I can only hope. I don’t want to die alone.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’d suggest a pinkie promise that if we haven’r found anyone in five years we get together but I get the feeling that in five years you’ll still be a long way off forty and I may be gone altogether.Tell you what, I’ll look down and make sure you get the right one and I don’t mean Mr Always Right.

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